Adopting a SMART approach while raising Differently Abled Kids (da-kids)

Using the SMART approach to raising SMART individuals! It can be a daunting experience for new-parents getting their kids labelled with disabilities. As this can launch them into an array of questions, uncertainties, and looming worries about what their future might look like and not exactly knowing where to start, how to start, and what to do next, especially based on the severity of the disabilities. Getting diagnosed and finding the right services can be challenging for invisible disabilities in comparison to the visible disabilities. Regardless, the treatments or support for short-term or long-term are really expensive and exhaustive (physically and emotionally). It also means that these worries can slowly consume parents/caregivers when timely actions are not taken.

This article hopes to promote other possibilities of setting parenting foundations by adopting SMART approach while raising da-kids, which will be indispensable during the parenting pursuit. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound, the same as SMART goals (George T. Doran) used in the IEPs. Adopting a SMART approach can be beneficial to both parents and da-kids as it ushers in other attributes to fall in place for a desired functioning of the system. It renders quality to parenting by having a staunch foundation with a defined dimension that yields clarity to several interlaced abstract aspects, such as “how to start" and “what to do next," which are the main focus of this article. For new-parents the process from diagnosis to effective advocacy can be confusing and make them get lost midway. Not knowing where to start, how to start, or what to do next, they might battle with time to get the right support in place. Using the SMART approach, they can define their goals and the goals of the child in a manner that is relevant, meaningful, and achievable in a timely manner to the point of reaching their long-term goal. Also, they can revisit the goals and revise them or reconstruct them if/when things don't go as anticipated.

As known, there are no defined parenting standards or any such definitive ideals. The parenting pursuit feels achieved when their loved ones lead independent, fulfilled lives and are good citizens of our community, which remains the same during the upbringing of da-kids. In the case of da-kids it would need continuous support and structured sources in place, which keeps getting modified to the point of reaching independence and quality living. During this process, attributes such as blame, shame, regret, alienation, and other inherent barriers do manifest, which can impact the parents and consume them. With the SMART approach in place, the pursuit itself liberates both the parents and their differently abled kids, fostering independence and quality living, which could be considered the ideal standards. There are several factors that can influence parenting perspectives. It can be categorized as culture, existing policies, faith we practice, the background we come from, societal beliefs and outlook, resource availability, and ability to adapt to the ongoing circumstances that contribute to the current parenting perspectives. Having the SMART approach in place, parents are able to reflect, revisit, and understand themselves and are able to make the necessary shifts to their orientations towards their short-term or long-term target. It is a fact that parenting da-kids is not easy, as additional multi-job roles get placed on them such as the roles of nanny, behaviorist, driver, advocate, cheerleader, caregiver, teacher, planner, and nurse, on top of the daily parenting. The list gets added based on the severity of the disabilities. However, using the SMART approach, the pursuit of parenting can be transformative with the elimination of the blame, shame, guilt, regret, etc., to more productivity.

No man-made products are perfect; similarly, the SMART approach has pros and cons. Pros can be categorized as it brings clarity, and a clear direction provides a roadmap (learning, functioning, etc.); it would increase motivation (for both parent and da-kids), improve collaboration (across the settings, IEP team, outside providers, resources, and services), and address realistic, meaningful goals (academic, social, individual, and family) in a timely manner. Cons can be categorized as time-consuming to adjust to this approach, and some targets may not be suitable under this approach, it may cause pressure or anxiety in the beginning of the process, and it may take time to reach balance. Adopting a SMART approach while raising differently abled kids for new parents can be beneficial while outweighing its cons.

For new parents, the process from diagnosis to advocacy can be confusing, and due to the manifestations of other systemic barriers in the midway, it can make them feel lost, not knowing where to start, how to start, and what to do next. Using the SMART approach, parents are able to define and design their goals for the short term and long term, which they can revisit and revise if/when the progress doesn’t happen as anticipated. This pursuit itself liberates both the parents and their differently abled kids, fostering independence and quality living could be considered the ideal parenting standards. Further, it allows parents to align with our country’s rhythm of resilience and possibilities where you create possibilities with resilience.

Priya Pasumarthy is an educator, health care provider and the author of Our Little

Promise(2022)and Halloween At Luke's(2019).

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